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Santa Claus is how to use a belt to auto eroticismcoming to town, or actually, the internet.

Like so much of the planet, the jolly red man has found a home online. Booking gigs, talking with fans, finding the perfect red suit -- it all happens there. But like many of us mere mortals, Santa's social life and work life are two different worlds that just sometimes merge. That's where secret online communities come in.

Yes, there are Santas on LinkedIn and others marketing themselves on social media, but "Santa groupies" and a need for more privacy have driven many to connect in hidden online groups.

SEE ALSO: Take this festive virtual tour of Santa’s house at the North Pole

Whenever there's a public Facebook group dedicated to working Santas, they become "overwhelmed with Santa groupies" John Chilson, a Santa from Colorado, told Mashable, defining "Santa groupies" as "people who just want to hang out with Santas, know everything about them."

It's a real problem. And like anyone else, sometimes Santa just wants to talk with his friends.

"There are a lot of Santa groups on Facebook where you have to become a member," Norm Gerring, a cofounder and administrator of a web-based haven for Santa-style socializing in Michigan, said. "I think they deserve a right to talk with each other openly and freely."

Gerring's site, called Michigan Association of Professional Santas, or MAPS, can only be accessed by members. And to become one, you must usually be recommended by another Santa.

"For those who are referred to as a 'real bearded Santa,' it is a lifestyle."

On the site's blog, Santas can post about things like liability insurance tips or the gigs they can't do. Dave Downs, who cofounded the site and goes by the name "Big Wave Santa," said postings for jobs are picked up "usually within hours or minutes."

But it's not just professional networking happening behind the scenes. The Santas share stories and photos and commiserate with one another, too.

"For those who are referred to as a 'real bearded Santa,' it is a lifestyle," Gerring said, adding the pressure can be tough when representing the iconic Christmas figure. "You have to be very careful when you're out in public because people look at you."

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In fact, not too long ago during the pre-internet days, it was very different. "It was a lonely job," Gerring said. Gradually, little groups started forming around the country and the online communities grew, he said. The web was a game-changer: "I believe it has helped immensely," he said.

Now, the online world of Santa has been whittled down to tight-knit communities. Members can freely talk about what it's like to be Santa, from the naughty to the nice and everything in between. They can also plan meet-ups.

Through the MAPS website, Santas from around Michigan get together for casual breakfast gatherings or the organization's annual dinner in January, when dozens talk about the last Christmas and cap off the night with cookies and milk. Last year's event drew 85 Santas, Downs said.

So what do these guys talk about? Well, being Santa is kind of like being in Fight Club. But some Santas would share a few general tidbits about their experiences. For one, there are mall Santas and then there are other Santas, a distinction made clear by professional Santas Mashablespoke with.

Being a mall Santa is tough work, requiring 8- to 12-hour days, quick and sometimes unflattering photos and often traveling significant distances to hold down the gig.

"I don’t do malls. I got friends that do," Downs said. "I hear the horror stories ... I prefer home visits, where I have a chance to talk with the kids."

What else do they talk about? Children's trust, and well, their pee.

Jim Manning, a full-time professional Santa Claus, gave his tips on avoiding the pee of children during an AMA on Reddit in 2013. And apparently, it's all in the parents' body language as they hand the child to you with "arms outstretched, elbows locked."

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

One of the Santas' biggest challenges, though, is that inevitable question: "Is Santa real?"

That's got to be a toughie for anyone, but a good Santa is always prepared. And it's actually a question that gets asked "almost everyday," Keith "SantaFinn" Makela of Rochester, Michigan said. His response is simple: "Are you a real child? Are you a real kid?"

Makela attended the CW Howard Santa Claus School in Midland, Michigan, as well as the International University of Santa Claus. He learned about the history of Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus, proper dress and make-up, live reindeer habits and "Santa Sign Language."

From the pricey clothes to the priceless patience, there's a lot that goes into being Santa. But a lot of them will tell you they aren't just doing it for the cash. Rather, it's for something else. And it's something they can't usually find elsewhere.

"I had no idea before becoming Santa what it was like to walk around where there was no negative energy anywhere," Makela said. "Wherever Santa goes, there’s nobody being negative about anything. That’s an interesting way to walk around."

So it turns out Santa does exist, and he's living life to the fullest IRL and online. You're just not invited to his private group.

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