The Watch Honest Thief OnlineMasters golf tournament was rocked on its opening day Thursday when Dustin Johnson -- the world's top-ranked golfer -- was forced to pull out of the competition.
Here's where it gets weird: Johnson injured his back falling down a small staircase in the house he was renting near August National Golf Club. (Don't worry -- Johnson's not mortally wounded or anything. He took some practice swings Thursday before deciding his back was too "tight" to compete.)
SEE ALSO: Why Michael Jordan didn't attend North Carolina's national championship winNow, we don't yet know exactly howor whyJohnson fell down those stairs.
Incidentally, though, we doknow smartphones can be dangerous things. People have died taking selfies, after all. And we've all nearly been bowled over by a pedestrian with their eyes on a screen instead of the sidewalk ahead.
There's no real reason to believe Johnson fell down those stairs because he was looking at his phone. But if wemissed a major event because we fell down some stairs because we were looking at ourphone, here are the most embarrassing reasons why that might have happened.
9. Refreshing Instagram likes.
Hey man, who among us?
8. Self-searching on Twitter.
We've all been there. I mean, no we haven't. Who would even do that? Not me. That's for sure.
7. Deleting Safari browsing history.
I mean, that's just good housekeeping.
6. Being 83 weeks deep in someone's Instagram profile,trying to be slick about it.
This was actually the basis for a Mission Impossibleplot.
5. Going through the camera roll, deleting the bad selfies but keeping the good ones.
You laugh but again, folks: This is just good housekeeping.
4. Transfixed by dank memes.
This wouldn't even be an embarrassing way to get injured, tbh.
3. About to leave someone an actual voicemail.
What are you, dude? Ninety years old?
2. Checking April the pregnant giraffe's live feed.
Jesus Christ, has she seriously not popped that thing out yet?
1. Trying to figure out how to join Mastodon.
All the cool kids are doing it, right?
Anyway, get well soon, Dustin Johnson. The Masters just won't be the same without you.
Previous:New Iconoclasms
Next:Kitchen-Sink Drama
Instagram policy change means it can delete ruleHey Upper East Siders, 'Gossip Girl' is coming back in a sequel seriesPlease use ethernet cables whenever you can. Please.Facebook's Libra cryptocurrency grilled at House hearing'Stranger Things' producer discusses wild Winona Ryder theory'Queer Eye' Season 4 became selfData's arrival in the 'Picard' trailer prompted lots of fan theoriesNetflix blames 126,000 lost U.S. subscribers on price hikesHey Upper East Siders, 'Gossip Girl' is coming back in a sequel seriesData's arrival in the 'Picard' trailer prompted lots of fan theoriesSnow cannons could stabilize the melting West Antarctic ice shelvesDon't forget the computer that landed Apollo 11 astronauts on the moonHere's what actual Uber drivers have to say about 'Stuber'Everything coming to (and going from) Hulu in August 2019Honorary 6th grader Bernie Sanders put a Trump tweet on a giant poster and brought it to SenateFemale Thor is coming to the Marvel Cinematic UniverseTwitter responds to Ed Sheeran's new music with a glorious meme fest'Avengers: Endgame' beat the last major 'Avatar' box office record'Queer Eye' Season 4 became selfSkip the smart diapers — babies don't need them Women’s invisible labor leaves them feeling empty, study finds Friend of the year swapped sweatpants for booty shorts This might be the most inappropriate shirt ever sold on Walmart's website Cafe trolls Donald Trump with an unusual sandwich recipe Vine star Jay Versace opens up about his sexuality in a Snap Hackers are having a field day on China’s wild web Stolen penguin at risk after being released into the wild Study finds Trump 4 times more likely than Clinton to 'mock or criticize' on Twitter Waymo chooses snowy location for factory devoted to self To see into someone's soul, binge on their Twitter likes 2019 Oscars: Full list of nominations Surfer gets surprise of his life when dolphin jumps onto his board A Saudi YouTube star was arrested over his 'enticing' video chats The history behind the 'bread and roses' theme to the London Women's March Tyra Banks and her Lyft driver sang 'Hamilton' tunes at the top of their lungs Some Netflix subscribers say they'll leave over new pricing Ignorant muggles put another Harry Potter home up for sale Apple to fully switch to OLED iPhones in 2020, report claims Uber is refunding surge Tennis player's response to question about female coach sends important message about equality
2.1437s , 8198.96875 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【Watch Honest Thief Online】,New Knowledge Information Network