United States President Donald Trump is watch Lady Chatterley's Daughter (2011)either a modern poet ... or a man incapable of speaking without losing his train of thought every 10 words.
If you are as yet undecided, consider these transcripts of his calls with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, published Thursday by The Washington Post.
SEE ALSO: Filipinos are confused about Ivanka Trump's party snack choiceAs I type, my face seems paralyzed by an inability to decide whether it wants to laugh the purest laugh or sob until someone consoles me, so here I sit, stoically jotting down quotes that, two years ago, would have been thrown out by parody sites for seeming a little too batshit.
First up, Trump and Turnbull:
Trump said this to Turnbull while they were talking about a deal between the U.S. and Australia that allowed Australia to send up to 2,000 refugees to the U.S.
Trump was not happy about it.
Trump said the refugees coming to the U.S. from Australia are surely rotten humans. Turnbull tried to explain otherwise, to little avail.
The president rarely misses a chance to tell people how many electoral college votes he got.
What is the appropriate time for drinking on a Thursday?, is my question.
#PleasantPutin
Now, onto Trump and Peña Nieto:
Trump to Peña Nieto, but also sort of to the interpreter.
Trump, reverting to third person.
I have consumed many drinks.
#NoWallNoFriends
What is the level of drunkenness at which colleagues begin to notice?
Something tells me Peña Nieto feels differently!
Trump, speaking of the Mexican people, obviously — but also probably speaking of his hopes for 2024.
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