【Alanis (2017)】

In our Love App-tually series,Alanis (2017) Mashable shines a light into the foggy world of online dating. It is cuffing season after all.

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Picking which dating app will drag you down to hell is no easy task. So why not select one based on the internet's favorite pastime: astrology?

Maybe you should try Coffee Meets Bagel. Perhaps a nice stint on Bumble is in your future. Or maybe you should give Happn a chance. (Yikes.)

SEE ALSO: 5 of the best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and shy people

Whatever your result, feel free to take these suggestions as seriously as you'd like. After all, nothing is written in the stars, especially love. Bleak!

Aquarius: OKCupid

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The deep-thinking, logical Aquarius will appreciate OKCupid's literal hundreds of survey questions, instead of being overwhelmed by them.

Pisces: Hinge

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With Hinge comes a wide range of flirting opportunities — users can comment on photos, comment on answers, match without messaging, or message directly. Pisces, a truly creative flirt, is sure to excel here.

Aries: Bumble

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Aries who are women seeking men will particularly enjoy Bumble. It has the adventurous, quick swipe energy they're into, but since women have to message first, they still get to maintain a sense of control.

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Taurus: Coffee Meets Bagel

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Tauruses have a reputation for being high-maintenance, but there's nothing wrong with a little pickiness. Coffee Meets Bagel provides a limited number of curated matches every day while still being fairly low-pressure. As far as dating apps go, it's as close to a balanced experience as you're going to get.

Gemini: Tinder

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Tinder can feel like the Wild West, but that won't faze a Gemini. Like Tinder, they're a little all over the place. But that just means more possibilities!

Cancer: Wingman

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The sensitive Cancer can veer into crisis mode fairly easily, which is why it might be helpful to have a dedicated team of wing-people to help them navigate the online dating realm. Plus, Cancers lovefriendship.

Leo: Raya

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Leos are stereotyped as showboats because they areshowboats. What better way to show off than joining an exclusive dating app with a waitlist 100,000 people deep? Also, its nickname is "Illuminati Tinder."

Virgo: The League

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Profiles on The League must undergo a pretty intense screening process — including submitting their LinkedIn profile — which is perfect for the fastidious Virgo.

Libra: Happn

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Happn, which matches you with people you've crossed paths with IRL, is not not creepy. It's also potentially great for Libras, who have a very healthy appetite for romance but may need a beat to consider: Are they actuallycrushing on the person from the subway? Or do they just like dramatic eye contact?

Scorpio: Hater

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Using Hater, which is predicated on the idea that people will bond over their mutual dislikes, can be a pretty intense experience. Luckily, "intense" is every Scorpio's middle name.

Sagittarius: Zoosk

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Zoosk is a large community of over 35 million users, which should play well with a Sagittarius's adventurous spirit and optimism — even when the experience gets a bit overwhelming.

Capricorn: Match

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Capricorns have a reputation for enjoying the classics, so Match, which has been around in some form or another since 1995, is a good option for them.

Love. It's in the stars.

More from Love App-tually

• My terrible online dates live on as zombies on Instagram

• Online dating wastes too much time. Here’s how to be more efficient.

• The rise of the Tinder-themed wedding

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