Alright,free pov sex videos let's get this introduction over quickly so we can get to the video of Harry being attacked by a dementor in the real world, as seen via smartphone.
With Harry Potter: Wizards Unite, the people who brought you the phenomenon of Pokemon Goand its sophisticated sci-fi cousin Ingresswill run a trilogy of games that turn real-world locations into magnets for masses of mobile players. Wizards Uniteisn't complete, and we don't have a release date. But it already has the most involved, and probably the most addictive, gameplay of the three.
The setup this time: In the decade since Deathly Hallows, there's been a breakdown of magical order, a "Calamity," an "existential crisis." (Don't we know it!) You're a volunteer for the Ministry of Magic, part of the "Statute of Secrecy" (SOS) task force, securing various magical objects that have been taken and are in danger of being revealed to the Muggle world — but which for now you can only see through your phone. You walk around a 3-D map scattered with castles, greenhouses, and magical inns.
That's also the scope through which you find, fight, and free various magical beings, tracing patterns with an on-screen wand. For example, here's Harry vs. the dementor, as seen live in San Francisco. It's a scene you can move all the way around and tackle from any angle:
Whenever this game is released, expectolots of people shouting spell names at their phones in the street.
Niantic, the spun-off-from-Google company that made the game, invited a handful of journalists to a hands-on demonstration of Wizards Uniteat the San Francisco Ferry Building last week. Before we started, a lengthy presentation ensured we knew that Niantic's evil masterplan to improve the health of everyone in the world and increase the strength of our communities with family-friendly games was proceeding according to schedule.
This Warner Bros-blessed game based on the world's post popular wizard seems to be the masterstroke.
Even pre-Potter, the numbers are impressive. Niantic has tracked players walking a total of 23 billion kilometers since the company was spun off in 2015. That's more than 573 million times around the Earth, most of which would not have been walked otherwise. Given the 190 million "friendship" connections between players in the first two games, and 3 million players that have been to a real-world meet-up to collaborate in the game with other players, the games company is a legit social network.
Except this one is clearly doing good in the world, not least by giving millions of parents something fun to do outside repeatedly with their kids.
Still, as any Ravenclaw would, I threw a devil's advocate question at Niantic CEO John Hanke: Don't we already have an epidemic of people staring at smartphones while walking down streets? He deftly dodged the question and turned it on our common enemy: "We have an epidemic of people sitting on the couch," he said. "An epidemic of diabetes."
In other words, 573 million Earths of exercise (and counting) is worth the occasional shoulder barge. Hanke added that he was "looking over the horizon to people playing games on glasses," which would presumably (but not certainly) reduce pedestrian collisions.
Yes, you do have to hold your phone up to initiate the game's battle sequences. But as I discovered in my test, Wizards Unitedoesn't require you to stand frozen in the street during battles, looking up at your phone like some hypnotized Black Mirrorextra. Once you've got a lock, a snapshot freezes and holds the street-scene in the background with an eerie magical glow.
Step to the side and put yer wand down, Harry.
With one developer, one PR escort, and one iPhone each, we were quickly walked around various game highlights in bustling downtown SF. I didn't walk into anyone, but the bustle certainly made learning the game harder. I got into a grudge match with a werewolf that killed me twice. Combat didn't seem so much "turn-based" as "your enemy takes a turn whenever they want-based." Still, I got the furry devil on the third try.
A later battle inside the Ferry Building went a lot smoother because there were four of us attacking the same group of creatures. The developer told me the game had been engineered so that walking around in a team of 5 is the optimum number, especially if one of you is playing healer. In other words, I said, the game is basically real-world Dungeons and Dragons. The developer enthusiastically nodded.
There's another big role-playing factor, as you travel on a career path of your choice: aurora, professor, magizoologist (whatever you think of the movies, the Fantastic Beatsworld is seamlessly integrated here). There's a virtual cosplay element too, adding hats and scarves and houses and personalized wands to your profile photo in your "Ministry ID," which is a clever way to drive the registration process.
The true nerd gang of 5 will, of course, not just keep the cosplay virtual, but take to the streets in actual Hogwarts regalia.
There was an intimidating amount of mechanics to learn, even more so than with Ingress. Brewing healing potions is a game unto itself. But the learning curve was never too steep, and Ministry of Magic advisors like Harry (voiced by a Daniel Radcliffe sound-alike) are constantly assisting in your ears and in little dialogue boxes.
You can of course speed things up with purchased coins, but Niantic was adamant that you would still be happy playing the game, which is free in itself, without spending any money. (Your kids and the nag factor, that's another matter.)
Ravenclaw skepticism aside, I had some truly magical moments — such as the time I used a portkey to open an augmented reality portal. I physically stepped through and found myself looking around a room that soon revealed itself to be ... the wand shop in Diagon Alley. The "wow" factor was real. It felt like a cheaper and much more interactive version of the Harry Potter theme parks experience. (Bring your own butter beer.)
Everything we were shown, Niantic assured us, was just the tip of a vast multi-year plan to add deeper and deeper layers to what they call a "forever" game. "Hopefully this is in your pocket and part of your life for the rest of your life," said Warner Brothers' San Francisco studio head Jonathan Knight ominously.
Indeed, I'm on the very casual end of Potter fandom, and I still could see myself falling for this game harder than I fell for Ingress, a six-month obsession that didn't have this level of satisfying ongoing playability.
Collecting stickers for each object retrieved, progressing in your profession, leveling up your wizard powers so you can take on ever-stronger magical creatures: All this has the potential to become more important than your real-world career. Not for nothing did Niantic keep quoting the words of Dumbledore: "Of course it's all happening in your head, but why should that mean it's not real?"
With J.K. Rowling not involved in approving the interactive elements, Wizards Unite is the purest expression yet of how Potter's universe has passed through her head and is now happening in all of ours. Soon, we will live our own endless stories.
Of course, it's on your phone screen, but why should that mean it's not real?
Topics Gaming Harry Potter Pokemon
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