Bowls have advertisement eroticizing male bodiesa lot going for them — they're nice to look at, they rarely shatter, and they're uniquely adept at holding chocolate pudding.
It is the nature of the foodie community, however, to destroy good things and replace them with something inferior. Take the latest food trend, "bowl food." What is bowl food? It is food thrown into a bowl, perhaps with the addition of some sauce to make it a meal.
Despite the simplicity of that, the food elite — which includes the British royal family and 80% of my neighbors in Brooklyn — have now elevated bowl food into something it's most definitively not: good.
SEE ALSO: The stigma against oatmeal raisin cookies is grotesqueThe BBC has defined bowl food as "larger than a canapé and around a quarter of the size of a main course ... served in miniature or hand-sized bowls and comes ready to eat with a small fork ... healthy."
In other words, bowl food can be defined as:
Bowl
+
food
=
Bowl Food
I wish I could pretend this trend doesn't exist. But it does, and it's clouding my Twitter timeline, which I like to save for breaking boner jam updates about the Mueller investigation.
FUCK YEAH MY CURRENT FAVOURITE WELLNESS TREND IS THE "BOWL" WHICH IS PUTTING A WHOLE BUNCH OF DIFFERENT FOOD IN A BOWL AND INSTAGRAMMING IT LIKE YOU'VE WON MASTERCHEF IT'S A SALAD DICKHEAD YOU'VE MADE A FUCKING SALAD
— Nadine von Cohen (@nadinevoncohen) May 15, 2018
Take a look at what they served at the royal wedding this past weekend. All of this was categorized as "bowl food:"
Fricassee of free-range chicken with morel mushrooms and young leeks
Pea and mint risotto with pea shoots, truffle oil, and Parmesan crisps
10-hour slow-roasted Windsor pork belly with apple compote and crackling
The only thing that differentiates bowl food from plate food is that it is served in a bowl. That's it.
In Brooklyn, the situation is much more dire. I cannot tell you the number of New York Times-approved restaurants in my neighborhood that rose to fame because of bowl food.
A typical bowl menu includes a "Choose-Your-Own-Bowl-Adventure" where you get to select from such exciting ingredients as:
One egg, typically for $10
One avocado, typically for $15
Something green you don't want
That's it.
I like bowls. I even enjoy food in bowls, if only because it reduces the chance of spilling. But "bowl food" feels like something rich people invented to make themselves sound humble and pure and in touch with their "healthy food roots," whatever the hell that means. They're utterly unlike us low-class rapacious heathens, who prefer to consume a pile of processed Cheez-Its from a plate, the natural way.
It's like when rich people rediscovered hot dogs and turned them into $15 "sustainable" meat monstrosities.
Can you tell the difference between bowl food and food that's in a bowl? Let's do a quick test.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable A: Food in a bowl.Cereal is something middle-class people eat, which disqualifies it from bowl food status.
Note the excessive presence of healthy stuff Credit: stacey zarin goldberg/The Washington Post/Getty Images A: BOWL FOOD.It has quinoa, a staple ingredient in bowl food.
File this under "Things I eat by force." Credit: ken hively/LA Times via Getty Images A. Bowl food.There is no salad now. Salad is an inferior fad that has passed and been replaced with bowl food.
Rest in power, salad.
If you're a person who cares about bowls, be a friend. There is no such thing as bowl food, in the same way there is no such thing as plate food. Announce to the world that bowls were worthy of love even before we started throwing broccoli in them. It's the least you can do for bowls, humanity's most loyal dishware.
Greenpeace activists charged after unfurling 'Resist' banner at Trump Tower in Chicago
I used emoji to order groceries
European privacy officials swipe left on Facebook's dating service
The internet is trolling United so hard right now
Optogenetics: A Virtual Reality System for Controlling Living Cells
'Katy Keene' is candy
Samsung's designer version of the Galaxy Z Flip can be yours for just $2,480
Twitter's Jack Dorsey tweets a bummer of a WikiHow on Valentine's Day
Best pizza oven deal: Save $150 on Chefman Indoor Pizza Oven
How ‘No Time to Die’ could evolve the concept of the 'Bond girl'
The Portable Workstation: Dell XPS 13 + 32 UltraSharp 4K Monitor
5 ways white allies can celebrate Black excellence and accomplishments
'Katy Keene' is candy
Facebook is experimenting with a Pinterest
Wordle today: The answer and hints for January 28, 2025
'Table Manners' lets you take a disembodied hand on a date: Review
Turtle manicures are absolutely a thing we are doing now
Rogue deer tackles innocent man in a parking lot
Best Dyson deal: Save over $100 on Dyson V11 Origin cordless vacuum
'Ohio 2' stars in this delightfully unhinged map of North and South America
Meanwhile, President Obama is hanging out with DiddyAmazon delivers a killing blow to the proA guide to community fridges, from volunteering to starting your ownApple is reportedly working on two foldable iPhone modelsFirefighters resuscitate unconscious puppy with special animal O2 maskApple closes all UK stores amid new COVIDGlittery bejeweled nails are actually tiny pens you can write withThe attempted coup revealed what really poisons AmericaFormer Death Eater condemns Sean Spicer's Emmy appearanceBest podcasts for achieving your 2021 New Year's resolutionsDude crashes his parachute in a packed stadium of football fansElf on the Shelf has become a rhyming, ridiculous memeWe pray that you enjoy, and are not instead disgusted by, this collection of cute fruit bats'There are not two sides to every story.' Read Amber Tamblyn's raw op'There are not two sides to every story.' Read Amber Tamblyn's raw opSamsung's larger 'Frame' TV can now switch into portrait modeChild president tries to talk to little boy who mowed White House lawn, gets memed insteadFormer Death Eater condemns Sean Spicer's Emmy appearanceFirefighters resuscitate unconscious puppy with special animal O2 maskBitcoin is worth more than $30,000 for the first time ever Google patented a mysterious camera hat Congresswomen in white troll Trump to his face during joint address This openly gay football player is about to make history Get ready to see less #ad and #spon on Instagram Soon you'll be able to watch TV on YouTube for $35 a month Bottle of champagne rolls out under subway seat, brings New Yorkers together Twitter pairs Trump's big speech to Congress with a new top commentary feature South Korea's biggest dog meat market stays open, despite promises to shut it Here's how to be an extra with Hugh Grant for the 'Love Actually' sequel Trump was caught practicing his speech, so the internet made jokes What one video game developer organization is doing to combat Trump’s immigration ban TASER smart holsters make body cams record when a gun is drawn Uber's Travis Kalanick: Yep, I'm a jerk, basically The fascinating story behind the coolest name in basketball Uber driver explains why he argued with CEO Travis Kalanick Having trouble online today? Blame Amazon. Some poor soul broke part of a beloved museum installation while trying to take a selfie A python eating a possum upside down in a tree is the most horrifying thing you'll see all day Clues are piling up around the mysterious 24th 'Overwatch' hero 'Beauty and the Beast' director reveals Disney's first openly gay character
1.0164s , 10220.9140625 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【advertisement eroticizing male bodies】,New Knowledge Information Network